My neckfro is wise

I used to like Bill Conlin from the Philadelphia Daily News. I thought he wrote interesting stuff. Then this happened:

First he writes this ridiculous East Coast-centric rant:

Baseball Keeps Playing Past the Midnight Hour

Here is our email exchange:

Me:

Being currently situated in the Eastern Time Zone, I get your point. But what, exactly, is your proposed solution? Start the games at 8 ET, when it’s 6pm in Colorado and only 5pm in Arizona? Are television viewers really more important than ticket holders/fans in the states where the teams are from?

Him:

In the 37 postseasons I covered until just a few years ago, I covered many 5 o’clock starts in the Pacific time zone. Only ones bitching were TV viewers. They aren’t doing East Coast fans any favors, either with first pitches at 8:37 for games running well over four hours. These will be all-time low ratings this season for a Division Series and LCS. The TV money drives the engine, agreed? Since when did TV worry about inconveniencing the live gate?

Me:

Good point. Clearly the TV viewers are a huge issue, but that doesn’t solve the problem or change the nature of the issue. 5pm is really hard for people to get settled in in front of the game by (note the standard 7 or 7:05 start time throughout the year for most home games). So now we’re weighing the TV viewers in the home states vs. TV viewers on the East Coast. Why should we inconvenience the Western viewers? I think this gets to your “baseball alienating its fans” point. Would you be more comfortable with baseball culling east coast viewers and alienating local viewers? Or is there a compromise time that you think would suit all people?

Isn’t this only an issue because the NLCS was two west coast teams? If it was Phillies/Mets they would have all been 7pm (roughly) starts…It seems to me that baseball is doing the right thing for the fans of the teams involved.

Him:

Put them on against each other and let fan loyalties dictate. Also, I can flip between two or more games at once and hardly miss a pitch. With my Comcast DVR box, I can watch one live and record the other. It’s no longer an analog world.

Me:

Now you’re just begging the question. WHEN do you put them on against each other? 7pm ET? 7pm PT? To put them on against each other you have to sacrifice the convenience of either the west coast or east coast fan base. How do you do that without alienating fans?

Besides, if you’re comfortable watching one and recording the other, what is the issue in the first place? Record the late game and watch it in the morning. I suspect that’s not a real solution either…It seems you’re upset with geography, not MLB.

Him:
Don’t play academic mind games with me, pal. . .Even if you were a kid in Denver last night, your game ended after midnight. . .

Me:

Academic mind games? You’re continually refusing to answer the question and change the subject. What time would you simultaneously start both the NLCS and ALCS? Who would you alienate?

And for the record, an 8:18pm start to a 3:17 game means it ended at 11:35pm in Denver.

Him:

I am about to alienate you by putting you on block. This is not a chat room.

Me:

Glad to see you’ve carefully thought this through. Initially, I was honestly asking what you thought the solution would be. But clearly, you haven’t thought about it at all. Instead, you just went off on a rant against MLB, when really you’re just upset because some games happen to take place in a timezone you don’t live in. Then when I ask you about it, you resort to ad hominem attacks and withdraw from the conversation. That’s a heck of a way to stand behind your story. Good work. I hope blocking me from your email account makes you feel better.

From Hay v. Cohoes Co., a New York court case in 1849:

“The defendants had the right to dig the canal. The plaintiff the right to the undisturbed possession of his property. If these rights conflict, the former must yield to the latter, as the more important of the two, since, upon grounds of public policy, it is better that one man should surrender a particular use of his land, than that another should be deprived of the beneficial use of his property altogether, which might be the consequence if the privilege of the former should be wholly unrestricted.”

For everyone (AZ in particular) voting on a “property rights” bill this week, keep this in mind. The right to private property has never been absolute in this country, and it shouldn’t be. Don’t be fooled by the rhetoric. Private property rights are a balance between mine and yours–and never should we declare one owner’s rights categorically superior.

Skirt + Jeans + Ugz = I hate you.

It’s getting cold in MI.

Replacing a car battery is easier than I thought.

Interesting note from Apple this week:

Apple said since September 12, less than 1 percent of Video iPods — pocket-sized devices that can play music files and video clips — left its contract manufacturer carrying the virus RavMonE.exe, which affects computers running Microsoft Corp.’s Windows operating system.

From here.

Umm…What exactly are you saying, apple? Either a) Your Ipods run Windows, because your sissy mac os can’t handle video OR b) Apples CAN GET VIRUSES. (gasp). Don’t sit there and say “A windows flaw affects our Ipods, but Macs don’t get viruses. It’s windows’ fault.” You guys suck.

9/24/04.  Rockin’ the Laundromat.  For some reason MS word just capitalized “Laundromat.”  I have no idea why.  Probably some lawsuit.

I was going to do work here, but the Laundromat lady decided that 10pm on a Sunday was a good time to vacuum the tile floors, so who am I to argue?

It’s been ages since I’ve written…lots to cover, though I’ll try to opt for depth rather than breadth. I think, after a lot of debating, that I’m going to try and keep this blog anonymous, a la Seattle Scribe, so I can vent a little more freely about my experiences here.  So yes, my molester picture will be coming down shortly.  I know you’ll miss it.

I arrived in Ann Arbor about 5 weeks ago. I drove for about four thousand miles.  It was fantastic.  There’s something about time by yourself on the road, copious amounts of chewing tobacco and mystery novels that makes time fly.  I noticed a few things on the road (well, more than a few, but some stuck out):

• People take the terror alert color coding VERY seriously in the Midwest. 

Every single truck stop/gas station/buffet had the color coded terror alert posted on the front door.  Now, I understand that truckers are on the forefront of the war on terror as much as the next guy, but seriously—this is not the port authority. 

• There is nothing to fuck with here except for corn.  

Lots and lots and lots and lots of corn.  More corn than America can eat—or even export for that matter.  I knew, on some level, that the United States subsidized farming, but dear god. Drive across the middle of the country.  Try to picture an ancient tallgrass prairie.  Dry, desolate.  Replace that with thirsty ass corn.  Give neckfro a job for the rest of his life.  I mean, the absurdity of water policy in the middle of this country is largely overlooked—and it needs to be put under a microscope.  There used to be rivers in the Midwest.  There used to be natural wetlands and ecosystems here.  There used to be a natural protection from ecoli bacteria getting into the water supply.  There used to be.

Law school is like high school, only smarter.  I’ve decided that I have two friends here, and I’m okay with that.  Seriously, people don’t speak to one another here.  And they DEFINITELY don’t speak to you if you’re younger than they are.  And by younger, I don’t mean age.  I mean strictly class year.  I’m 28.  I’m a “1L” (law schoolese for first-year).  That means, categorically, that anyone who has been in school for a year more than I have, no matter what their age, is infinitely more wise than I.  And much, much cooler.  In short, it’s pretty gay.

The big house is really big.  But really quiet.
 

When I called to get an estimate for registering my car, the woman on the phone asked me if “Subaru” was a type of GM, or if it was a Chevy.  I assured her it was a make—not a model.  Eventually, she found it in the database.  No problem—just go to the secretary of state (no DMV or MVD here), and bring your paperwork….Well, I’m not going to re-hash every “OH MY FUCKING GOD I HATE THE DMV” post you’ve ever heard, but I could.  I had to go back 3 times.  Each time there was a different problem with my paperwork—never the same issue.  Finally, I just got lucky and there were no problems.  All of this in the name of national security.  God I hate bureaucracy.  

I also hate pretty much everything about contracts.  I can’t imagine a more difficult concept than promises.  You laugh.  Promises are simple.  My ass.

I miss home a lot.  I miss my simple life, and my good friends.  I miss people who really, truly, honestly didn’t care where you were from, how much money you made or what section you were in.  People who only cared how hard you would fall when you went skiing.  People who preferred smoky bars and bad folk music to dance clubs.  People who smiled a lot.  

But on the other hand, I’m excited to be here.  I do have a great opportunity, even if I do get “Bs” (gasp) for the rest of my career.  I’m learning more than I ever have before, and my two friends are pretty good folks.  And I get to go to a Laundromat that was featured in “The Upside of Anger,” starring Kevin Costner.  Top that, bitchez. 

On a final note, I killed my cell phone.  People here can’t fathom how I get by without it.  I absolutely love it.  But if you know me and want to get a hold of me, drop me an email and I’ll get you my new number. 

Driving from Flagstaff to Ann Arbor via Portland. Some thoughts…

Salt Lake is NOT an attractive city. Attention Salt Lake Drivers:

Changing lanes does not speed up a traffic jam.

Books on tape rule.

Thorough update when I get to Ann Arbor…Promise.

My office smells like poop today. Seriously, like poop. I didn’t poo in here. I’m pretty sure none of my partners did. Odd.

Last night this crazy fuck came into the bar and got all wasted screaming “Peace be to everyone! That’s my motto!” He was pretty annoying.

Today he walks in, before the bar is really open, with his stupid ass flyer explaining who he is. Turns out he’s The Peacewalker. Dude has been walking across America protesting the war in Iraq. He was in North Carolina in March, trying to get to the statue of liberty. Now in July the dude is in Flagstaff. I think somebody spun him around along the way.

His website says that “The peacewalker is very grateful for all the help from the american people that have help finance his walk with food and lodging and other donations along the way.” Turns out the guy is a high tech bum. So I check out his website, and I’m not the only one who found the guy to be a stupid waste of humanity. My personal favorite:

So, Mike doesn’t take rides??? That’s not what the local police said. We would just like to thank Mike for gracing us with his presence, shortly before we called the police on his ass. Let me tell you, he has our votes for the presidency!!!!

Sweetness. Maybe the peacewalker crapped in my office?

Well, the server switch went well, if an impossible pain in the ass can be considered well. Everything seems the same, though I can’t seem to change the color of the random picture frame. Oh well, I suppose we’ll just have to deal.

I’m moving servers, so this may be kind of broken for a bit….

Well, the fires and continued drought have finally caught up to us, and they’ve finally closed all the forest. And pretty much any city trail that runs through or towards the forest. For those of you who don’t live in Flagstaff, it’s hard to understand, but really, when the forests are closed, there is NOTHING to do here. The bowling alley loves it. Think of it like living in Santa Barbara and they close the beach. Sweet.

In other news, I had the, um, pleasure of serving Sam Walton’s grandson at the bar the other night. Seriously. Dude paid with an Arvest bank card. His name was Walton. Do the research. For some reason, I resented it entirely. It’s probably the closest I’ve ever come to an honest to god billionaire. Not a big fan.

Finally, I got a swell email from the folks I was planning on living with in Ann Arbor. “Sorry, one of the roommates who was moving out changed his mind.” This was TWO WEEKS after they said “go ahead and get in touch with the landlord.” I’m sure they had no inkling of the impending mind change before now. None at all. Thanks for using me as a back up plan without my knowledge. You rock.

I don’t normally do this here, but I want to take a minute and encourage everyone to visit Save the Internet (savetheinternet.com). Basically, big telecom companies want the right to eliminate “network neutrality,” the principle that the itnernet goes as fast as it goes, and that’s that. They want the right to speed up access to sites who pay for it–thereby slowing down sites that don’t. For example:

Yahoo pays AT+T a ridiculous sum of money to “Fast track” yahoo requests on their network. Google slows down by comparison. Users stop using Google.

There are already numerous examples of ISPs abusing their customers–slowing down service to rival VOIP providers, for example, and this could get ugly.

Personally, my business could be crippled by this. A large webhost could easily pay the two local ISPs to fast track their servers, therby creating an unfair advantage over my business. They tell our customers “look how much faster our server responds!!” We can’t afford to buy off Qwest, and we’re done. Check it out, folks.